Conflicts are an inescapable fact of life. They occur when the needs of one person differ from the needs of another, and the parties disagree on how to meet their needs. Conflict can be unpleasant and uncomfortable and it can hurt relationships. However, if handled effectively, it also provides the opportunity to enrich and deepen relationships and help us learn more about ourselves. Accept that conflict will arise in your working life whether it is with your manager, your staff, peers, your customers or other professionals and learn ways to manage it.
Conflict in management can be defined simply as:
“two or more people who want a different outcomeâ€
Almost all conflicts involve communication problems, as both a cause and an effect. Misunderstandings, resulting from poor communication, can easily cause a conflict or make it worse. Further, once a conflict has started, communication problems often develop because people in conflict do not communicate with each other as frequently, as openly, and as accurately as they do when relationships are not strained. Thus communication is central to most conflict situations.
Recognising sources of conflict in the workplace is the first step toward being able to do something about them. Apart from communication, there are other causes of conflict in business:
Think about the conflict situations in your working life. Who are they with? What is the real issue? How can you improve your handling of these situations? Find out from colleagues what their strategies are for handling conflict.
Resolving conflict requires effective communication skills, tolerance, and the desire to find creative solutions. Here is a five-step process that you can follow to resolve conflict and improve your work relationships.
1. ACTIVE LISTENING for facts and feelings. Make sure you understand what the other person really wants and needs. Listen for more than facts. Set aside your assumptions of what you think is going on. Pay attention to non-verbal messages. Check that you have understood and repeat back to the person what you think he/she said. This will prevent misunderstandings and will ensure that you are both clear about the issues.
2. USE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION. State your wants and needs in a respectful and clear manner, while recognising that the other person also has legitimate wants and needs. Discuss the specific behaviour that is creating problems and do not focus on personal characteristics.
3. BE EMPATHETIC. Try to get into the other person’s shoes. Consider their viewpoint. Ask yourself: “What does she want?” “What might he be afraid of?” Adopt the position that people aren’t purposefully trying to be difficult, manipulative etc. They may not know how to communicate effectively to resolve conflict.
4. BE FOCUSED on the issue. Use effective listening skills. Stick to facts and don’t allow irrelevancies and emotions into the discussion which could escalate the conflict. If you find the conflict is getting worse, take a break and agree to come back and discuss the problem at a later time - when you both have had a chance to calm down.
5. KEEP POSITIVE. Approaching a conflict situation with a negative attitude will result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. You will put out non-verbal messages that you know the person won’t respond to reason and they will pick this up and respond to accordingly. Instead, tell yourself “there is a solution to this situation and we can work together to find it.”
This Management Skills for New Managers course is aimed at recently appointed Managers. Using real world scenarios it covers the skills required to make the adjustment from working alongside your colleagues to managing and motivating them to work for you.
Silicon Beach Training offer wide range of Management ∧ Leadership training courses.